Did you actually know that in Japan itself you can rent a boyfriend or a girlfriend? I didn’t know this until last year when I came across a video on YouTube where I could see a man renting a man as his boyfriend for a day. My curiosity let me hunt down some information and other videos if it was actually real because it isn’t legal nor does exist in the West. Surprisingly it is in fact a real thing and widely accepted in Japan. Not only a partner can you rent but as well as family service, friends, a middle-aged man,… and there are many reasons behind why these services exist.
The reasons to rent a companionship service and its dark sides:
The idea of renting a partner came up because of the increase in social isolation and loneliness in Japan. Even before covid hit Japan has always been struggling with loneliness. According to a survey, 40% of Japan’s population in 2022 feels lonely which in 2023 increased even more. Almost half of the Japanese population struggles with solitariness. Which is very concerning to people’s mental health. Besides Japan is known for its amazing structure, collectivism and having one of the world’s most populated city in the world, which makes Japan listed as one of the loneliest countries in the world. It is also listed as one of the most suicidal rates in the world. That is why they also have a minister of loneliness to take on isolation and loneliness to reduce the suicidal rates. Mental illness has been a big taboo still till this day, and people won't tell their problems and seek help. Instead, they isolate themselves, and in the worst-case scenario, it can lead to ‘Hikikomori’. This phenomenon is a form of social withdrawal where you don't leave your house or room for an extended amount of time (months, years), unable to go to work.
The Japanese work culture is recognized for being very harsh. They get overworked because of long working hours and over hours, which makes it difficult to have free time to even relax and connect with other people. Dating-wise it takes effort, time and money for all that. The work-life imbalance is a struggle nowadays so they look for loopholes: ‘The renting service’. For the service of renting a partner, you don’t need to give much effort, time or money since you pay for one date, have fun and then leave. You could compare it to going to a dog or cat cafe instead of owning a pet because owning a pet costs a lot of effort, time and also expenses. As well as being in a relationship it is the same. People find it too much to deal with and rather have a date for a few hours have fun and leave. The same things happen in a pet cafe, you pay, spend some time and have fun and then you leave.
Sexual intercourse has always been a big taboo in Japan whether you are around family, friends, school, or work,… it isn’t something people talk about because in Japan cultural modesty exists. For some, it may not occur and for some, it occurs extremely. People tend to not talk about such things quite often. However, there is a lack of sex education as a result of which knowledge about sexual activities and dating is sparse and creates a fear of dating because of high standards. Nowadays in this generation, there is a lot of pressure in society about looks (beauty) en dating. Beauty standards are rising everywhere around the world but in East and South East Asia, it is going to an extreme level where everyone starts doing surgeries to look like the perfect standard. Beauty standards are very crucial in their culture. If you don’t look beautiful or handsome enough based on the East Asian beauty standard you are excluded from society. The standard there for girls is to have double eyelid eyes (big eyes), an oval face, a small nose, pale skin, skinny body, resembling an anime character. For a man, it is also big eyes, small nose, skinny,… Unreal standards can’t be achieved without, starving yourself for a skinny body and surgeries to make you look ‘kawaii’. The ‘kawaii' culture is big in Japan, kawaii refers to ‘cute’ where girls dress up or make themselves childish look-alikes. In Japanese culture men tend to have interest in kawaii girls. It is the beauty standard in Japan. The pressure to conform to these impossible standards can significantly impact your self-esteem, leaving you feeling unworthy and dissatisfied with your own appearances. It becomes challenging to date with thoughts like those.
An extreme case that I have seen is the man who married an anime doll. He felt lonely, wasn’t popular in Japanese’ society and also didn’t have the beauty standard. Scared of trying to date a woman, he gave up and started being isolated and started to love an anime character. Psychological is this man not healthy anymore? Through whole Japan, many more lonely people go through psychological challenges and try desperately to look for a way to some happiness and companionship. Each year in Japan birth rates are getting lower and lower because of the minor dating culture in these times.
The process of the experience:
Through websites, advertisements, posters, and social media,… research can be done for a perfect match to go on a date with. It comes up with a picture, some personal information written on it, and the price per hour they ask for as a charge. In most cases, it could be very expensive to rent a partner these days. After selecting an available applicant, communicating with the company is a must and arranging the date on good terms. The date can be for hours or a whole day depending on the availability and the amount of charge paid. The client will experience a boy-or-girlfriend-like experience. For extra charge if the applicant agrees there can be physical service as well.
However, renting a companion is not the only thing you can rent. Friends, family and middle-aged men can also be hired to accompany you due to loneliness or other reasons,… Actors would be playing as your friend or family in social events, weddings, graduations, and funerals,… Renting a middle-aged man would be for the reasons to get advice from, help out, listening to problems,…
Renting the service of a girlfriend or boyfriend can be almost similar compared with a host club. It’s the same service of companionship, only you don’t act like their partner and either more flirting and trying to make them love you to get more money. But here as well occasionally when the client puts a large amount of money on the table physical service can be given. From my perspective renting a boyfriend or girlfriend could be actually seen as prostitution, but not on an extreme level but mild. There is a physical touch from time to time included which makes them a sex-worker. This renting service also doesn’t exist in other countries, because people go to prostitutes or strip clubs for companionship. Making or giving pleasure is seen by me as working in the sex industry.
The government should abolish the renting services and resolve the mental problems of the Japanese people, and change the society to a healthier place. Reducing suicide rates, depression and hikikomori should be the first things to work on to avoid that. If not Japanese' society could turn into a very dark place. Spreading awareness of mental health is crucial in Japan.
References:
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Asian Boss, “What Happened To The Japanese Man Who Married A Hologram? | ASIAN BOSS,” June 7, 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DqQvq94MI0.
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